The Job Hunt Part Five: The Résumé or the Whoring of Productivity

The Resume- a snapshot into the work history of an applicant, the source of awkward and pointed bragging, and a purchase order for selling yourself to a host of hiring managers and staffing companies. 

Hookers wear high (and sometimes clear) heels, revealing clothing and too much make up, using visuals and suggestive marketing to make there money. The entry level applicant must tempt the unsuspecting HR department by douse themselves in a pungent combination of words per minute, software proficiency, and bittersweet false smiles.

I call this fragrance Eau De Proxénétisme. (Literal Translation: Water From Pimping) 

However, I have scruples. Ok, mostly I have small shreds of integrity and dignity that stop me from lying in interviews. This goes doubly for resumes, mainly because a little check into your references (no matter how helpful they are supposed to be) will confirm any information or skill claims provided. Granted, This doesn't stop staffing managers from suggesting edits to my resume to make me seem more impressive. Mainly on the subject of my various temp positions which tend to come into question because of their duration, with most companies still thinking about job duration like we are back in the time before the Great Job Economy Suckitude. I include the words "temporary" and "contract" in my resume often in hopes that common sense will win out.

Sometimes it does, other times it just confuses them. "Why did you leave your last position?" or "Why were you only with this company for three months?", to which I generally reply with "As you will see on my resume..." (a favorite opening statement of mine) "... this was a temporary/contract position. The contract ended."

This always feels self-explanatory, especially when I am talking to a staffing company. Unfortunately, they sometimes forget themselves, and I have to explain the basic definition of temporary. It hurts my brain and faith in humanity sometimes. On the rare occasions, I run into the "Out of the box" recruiter, who suggests crafty ways of getting my resume to their manager's desk faster. They always express empathy for the difficulties in the job hunt and understand that the temp positions are reflective of the economy and market and not my worth as an employee. Then they explain that normally they would skip my resume because my track record looks "jumpy". I look inconsistent and I should alter my resume and stack like minded positions together to make them look like they lasted longer. I should list all of my temp positions under one staffing company -- even though the work was done through different staffing agencies -- so it looks like I stayed in one place longer.


That would be a lie. Plain and simple. When I bring this ethical dilemma up, they explain that their candidates might work through the company in different environments for various clients, and I should focus on listing one company instead of multiple. "But I didn't just work with this staffing company, so that's false advertisement." They might start patronizing me, like I'm looking the gift horse in the mouth, and that I don't understand the importance of the advice they are providing. They will push their version, heavily implying that their way is the only way that the resume will make it past this tier and onto their manager's desk.

I'm a fairly stubborn person and I tend to hold my ground. Some of the information/suggestions are helpful, and I did end up editing my resume. I separated the work experience into "Temporary and Contract Full Time Work" and "Retail and Customer Service Work", listing the duration of my temp/contract work from start to present, and not by staffing company. It's honest, accurate, and actually looks more inviting.

Job = Not Starving

In the end, I kept my scruples and changed the packaging. I didn't list my product as being fat free when I know I just changed the butter I used, I didn't say that it was sugar free when I used honey instead of granulated sugar. I don't believe in lying to get ahead, it's a pride thing. Does that mean that some staffing companies and HR departments will overlook me because I only have contract position experience? Oh well.

I can still play the game and respect myself in the morning. Maybe I will have to hit the ground a little harder, apply to more jobs, gain some proficiency in additional software in my spare time, and practice my "elevator speech". But, I will know that when I get the job, and they expect things from me -- based on my resume and interview -- I will be able to deliver from the beginning.