“Wow, you know a lot about (insert fandom here), for a girl.” ....grumble ...grumble....
Let me state that I am unapologetically proud of my hobbies, interests and endeavors. Unfortunately, this concept of the “Fake” or “Faux” nerd girl has been a thorn in my side long before those idiotic comments and rants were spewed by Dirk Manning and Tony Harris. Dude, seriously?
Excuse me while I let out all my frustration at once:
ADSKJHFS$^$#^$HJ;EWOFAD! @#$@DGS#@@!;SDMF’@^%@DKLSJF’LASN’la!
Ok, calm down Britny, thats just two guys who think that. Au contraire, my dear lovely reader. Alex Hern, of NewStatesmen, does a great job of pointing out just how saturated the industry is with this way of thinking (if you can even call it that).
However, this stigma is not exclusive to nerd culture, definitely not just directed at women., and has a long history of being a general ignorant vomit of ideals.Let me break it down in another way. I’m going to take the geek fandom out of the equation and lets see how awkward and offensive I can make these type same statements.
“You are very well spoken, for a black person.”
“You jump really high, for a white guy.”
“You read really well, for a child/woman/minority.”
“You are very well adjusted, for some who reads comic books.”
Did that last one hit home for you? Do any of these statements seem like OK things to say? If your answer is anything but NO, then there is a lot more going on in your psyche, and I don’t have the time to rectify that.
This conditional exception-to-the-rule mentality is all about exclusivity. If you don’t look like everyone else in the group, you have to double your efforts to be accepted. It’s the worst kind of hazing. This concept of someone having to work twice as hard to be accepted or appreciated in any culture, social setting or group, is not OK. Some will know this as, “the black tax” which according to Urban Dictionary, states that “Black people have to work and perform regular task twice as well as White people.”
But Britny, this isn’t a race issue.
No, its not, but its doing a damn good job of playing out like one. Any group that isn’t the majority has to toil away, proving itself to the masses. The difference here, is that with most of the aforementioned discrimination, the issue is not of choice. You don’t get to pick your gender (most of the time), nor do you have any say in the color of your skin, age etc. In the geek and nerd subcultures, you gravitate towards what you love and spend a concerted effort understanding and enjoying it. Someone is choosing to love what you love openly, and because they aren’t male, they are shunned, ridiculed and objectified.
I rarely see a male geek being put on the proverbial wrack and interrogated about his knowledge of a fandom. And even if he was, and even if he failed, it wouldn’t suddenly invalidate his identification as a geek. There would be a jabs at his intelligence and then you would educate him. As soon as you add ovaries to the conversation, suddenly its a life or death battle for geek cred.
As a gamer, a proud geek, a female, and a multi-racial person, I think this ‘club’ mentality should be buried. Once upon a time, this uniqueness was welcomed, when the jocks kicked dirt into your eyes, you banded together and licked your wounds in the basement with Mountain Dew, an episode of Trigun, or a riveting game of Quake II.
Wouldn’t it be easier to look at her as a person who appreciates something you love and feel passionately about and then gush about the latest issue of the comic, whose character she is proudly cosplaying? Why is it more likely that you will shove her into gender purgatory because the idea of a female who legitimately appreciates the fandom is incomprehensible?
It goes along with my personal favorite,
“You are too pretty to be good at videogames.”
What does my face or my body have anything to do with the fact that I am wiping the floor with you? These backhanded compliments only serve to separate females from the rest of the industry and fanbase.
“Can you name all the Doctors and Companion?”
No, I can’t, not off the top of my head. Why? Because I’m not an encyclopedia, and I’m not required to regurgitate trivia to like the show. Why is it deemed acceptable for someone to quiz me on the entire history of Doctor Who, as a way of validating any statement I make on the fandom or its mechanics.
In gaming alone, this behavior ends up chasing away about 47% of the audience, just because they make you feel funny in the pants sometimes. Or maybe its because we are “undermining” the masculinity of your interests, a theory explored by Noah Berlatsky, of The Atlantic.
Is this how you want the “nerd” world to be viewed, as a bunch of misogynistic, bitter, insecure, and territorial asshats, who would rather label a girl as a poser, bandwagoner, and whore? Thankfully, not all artists agree with Manning and Harris. Garth Graham, of GCG Studios, sounds off on the uncouth view of women as objects, complaining that “It's really distressing how many people never learned or choose to ignore basic standards for human interaction.”
Personally, most of my friends have been male. It had been hard to find girls who were interested in the same things as I, and I found my niche in a male dominated world. While my friends accepted me and my varying levels of nerd, anyone outside of that circle took it upon themselves to villainize my superfluous X chromosome. I couldn’t be a nerdy girl -- those didn’t exist. It was assumed that I was along for the ride because I was either a) already dating one of the group members or b) trying to. Apparently, I couldn’t hang out in arcades, or bookstores, or MtG drafts without wanting to canoodle with someone in the group. I was supposed to be there for support -- and maybe some eye candy -- but nothing else.
It was the same at any convention I staffed or attended (and still happens now). With the introduction of puberty, I was on the market for public consumption everywhere I turned, be it the Artist Alley, Gaming Caves, or just walking to a panel.
Getting stopped enroute is great if you appreciate my shirt (or cosplay) because its a fandom you love. Lets talk about it, share ideas, and maybe learn a little bit more about it from each other. If your appreciation is solely derived because of how snuggly my shirt may fit over my breasts, keep walking, don’t make eye contact with me, and please do not touch me.
The internet is crawling with this way of thinking but thankfully, its being combated on a regular basis by men and women alike. Dr. Andrea Letamendi speaks a great deal on this subject, citing the deep fear of a belittling a fandom because estrogen was added. The daily news blog, The Beat , and Rachel Edidin of Comics Alliance, also have a great deal to say on the matter.
The cosplayer known as Kimihako Blade weighed in on the issue. In an interview she expressed her general distaste for the concept, calling the ‘fake nerd girl’ theory “utterly senseless... Last time I checked, I did not have to have a ‘nerd card’ to validate my ‘street cred’. I thought I just had to be passionate about a fandom I love. Plus, there are so many different varieties of nerdiness that that statement is just unfair."
Maybe instead of attacking someone on their lack of knowledge, you should educate them and recommend some other sections of the fandom that would be interesting. Chris Marney, of Four In The Tardis, recommends approaching them, as a human being, and “asking them why they chose their outfit choice to portray the character. If they don’t know anything about the character or the context, then I would ask them if they would like to know more about whom they are portraying.”
xkcd comic #1053
My favorite poignant poke at this issue comes from the song, Admit it! by Say Anything.
“You are a vacuous soldier of the thrift store Gestapo,
You adhere to a set of standards and tastes that appear to be determined by an unseen panel of hipster judges....
You’re diving face forward into a antiquated past;
It’s disgusting, it's offensive, don’t stick your nose up at me...”
Don’t be a hipster douchebag about it. I’m glad you can remember when the first issue of New Mutants came out, but that doesn’t make a female’s appreciation of Deadpool less valid.
Bring back the collaboration, the love, the appreciation of those different from the norm. Just because the culture is pushing itself into the mainstream at an exponentially impressive rate, doesn’t mean you have to turn into the same bullies of your past. Girls can be gamers, girls can read comic books, girls can like the same things you do, as much as you do.
And we can (and will) do it without your permission or stamp of nerd club approval.
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